Saturday, March 7, 2009

The population wises up???? Maybe!!!!


Dear Editor:

A buddy of mine was explaining this really neat game to me that I think your readers might enjoy. It is called “How to birth a country, and then rape it”. There are only nine steps in the game, so it’s really easy to understand.

Here are the rules of the game.

Gather a small, close knit group of family and good friends to be players in the game along with you. These players are called “politicians”. If someone wants to play, but he/she is not a family member or good friend, then that person can still participate, but only as a non-player, not as a “politician”. There is a reason for this, which will be understood as you read further on. Non-players are called “the people”.

1. Divide the politicians into two teams. We will call the two teams “political party no. 1” and political party no. 2”. Each team will then choose a team leader. The team leader is called the “party leader”.

2. The objective of the game is to see which team can loot the most money from the government treasury (called the bank), and grab all the best government lands for themselves (called money in the bank), without causing an uprising of “the people”.

3. The quickest way to END GAME (so the game doesn’t go on too long thereby boring the politicians) is to make the party leader of the political party chosen as the most popular one, “king”. This is an important rule and you will understand why later. The two teams will jointly write the remaining rules of the game. These rules are called the “constitution”.

4. Then, in a popularity contest where each person can cast one vote, have “the people” choose their favorite political party. “The people” are not allowed in the game otherwise, except in this capacity, which is to pick a winning team. Once a winning team has been selected, that team’s leader automatically ascends to the position of “king”.

5. The king will then appoint three of his best buddies to sit beside him. These three people will be referred to as “good buddy #1”,” good buddy #2” and “good buddy #3”. It is important that the king choose close confidants as his three best buddies, as they will go on to play important roles later. Collectively, with their families and close friends, these people are called the “privileged class”.

Put “good buddy #1” in charge of the police (called the Minister of Security), “good buddy #2” in charge of the government coffers (called the Minister of Finance) and “good buddy #3” in charge of the government lands (called the Minister of Lands).

Give all the “good buddies” unfettered powers over the valuable government assets they control through a king’s decree called “Ministerial Discretion”.

6. In collusion with the king (and using “Minister’s Discretion” as the authority) good buddy #2 -- called the Minister of Finance -- will loot the government treasury, the proceeds which are then shared among the privileged class.

Also in collusion with the king, and using “Minister’s Discretion” as the authority, good buddy #3 -- the Minister of Lands -- will grab the choicest, largest swaths of government land, which will then be shared with the privileged class. Note: If there is rich, beautiful land that does not belong to the government -- but a member of the privileged class covet(s) it -- then the Minister of Lands simply takes it from the rightful owner invoking said same “Minister’s Discretion” as his authority. It is then given to the person (in the privileged class) that covets it.

The primary role of the “Minister of Security” (using Minister’s Discretion as his authority, of course) is to order the police (and the national defense force) to stop any uprising of “the people”. Sometimes the people become fed up with the looting (also called corruption), and sometimes the people become restless if they are suffering too much. The role of “good buddy #1” is therefore very clear, he/she must squelch ANY unrest using whatever force necessary. (Note: If there is unrest at any point during the game, END GAME takes much longer, so this is very much frowned upon by the privileged class, hence the reason it must be squelched.)

7. If the king can get away with appointing himself Minister of Finance, Minister of Security, AND Minister of Lands (at the same time), without causing an uprising of the people, then he has played a most superior game. There would be no need to share any of the ill-gotten loot with any of the good buddies (and their families and friends), making the privileged class much smaller and the pickings for each one much larger.

8. One of the rules in the constitution is that the popularity contest (called an election) must be held every five years. The theory behind this rule is that making the people feel that they are players in the game keeps them placated.

If you are the king and your political party loses a subsequent popularity contest, that’s ok. You and your privileged class have still won the jackpot ensuring an easy life forever!

9. Repeat every five years ad nauseam until the treasury is bankrupt and the choicest government lands have been grabbed up by the privileged class,

… or until there is a revolution of the people clamoring for a change in the constitution.

Neat game, huh?

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